Running for President

[XMEN Gambit]

I thought about putting this in the humor forum. Then reconsidered. I don't know if it's genuine but wish it was.

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I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the Wal-Mart policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens..

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.


(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes


GOD BLESS AMERICA


Bill Cosby
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[Spinning Hat]

Yeah, this seems to get recycled around election time.. Wish it was true. I think Bill Cosby would be good for America. ;D

[XMEN Gambit]

Ya. I know I've seen the bushel of wheat = barrel of oil thing before.

[Ambush Bug]

"The Wal-Mart Method"?

I hate to be an argumentative cuss, but if we stopped any and all imports for two years, Wal-Mart would be dead. Unless, of course, they put their mastery of logistics to the use of procuring items from within the US.

Prices would go up, without a doubt. How much exactly i could not say, but enough to cause varying amounts of sticker-shock.

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While I too have my days where I'd love for an isolationist stance in America for once, I'm not sure it is economically feasible unless a great deal of analysis and preparation is done first, say about ten years' worth.

Objective #1 would have to be getting our national debt out of the hands of China and other countries. How this could be done in a short time without starting a war (and a damned big one) I could not say.

[The Spleen]

I'll vote for you!!

Gambit for the X-Party, or X-ocratican Party.

[XMEN Gambit]

Bug, I agree there are issues with the above plan. (Plenty!) However, I don't think Wal-Mart would be dead. Folks still have to buy stuff and Wal-Mart would use its marketing muscle and logistical power to do as well as _any_ retailer could in such a climate. Almost everything electronic we buy these days seems like it comes out of China or Taiwan or whatever. And if we started manufacturing that stuff over here then there would be environmental issues to squawk about. But at least we wouldn't starve.