The XMEN Clan Forums

...you, but they investigate everything you're told to do to make sure you do it. Could you live with it?

My case:
While I was unemployed I took on a house sitting job that paid $20 a night. All I had to do was flip light switches, check for leaks, and stay the night. The first time the owners were out of town. I found out that I actually slept better on the floor. (The bed is about 5'8"x3" and I'm 6'0".) So I did... no problems. The next time they go out of town, I default to sleeping on the floor. I get a call from the grounds keeper saying that the maid did not think I had spent the night at the house. Since the grounds keeper likes to make a big deal over little things, I told him that I stayed up all night watching movies. (He would have made a big fuss about me not sleeping in the bed. I had only slept for about two hours that night... so it was more of a nap between movies than anything.) So, the next night I tear down the bed at night and then make it again in the morning. No complaints this time. The next night I do the same. Then I get another call from the grounds keeper accusing me of not spending the night. He said that he had put a crease in the blanket and that it was still there. (I did not notice the crease, but I did tear down the bed and make it again in the morning. I don't know how the crease could still have been there... maybe I'm just sloppy at making beds. Odd, huh?) Then he tells me that the maid is not only complaining to him, but she is also complaining to the family's secretary. He also tells me that he trusts me but he wants the maid off his back. If it wasn't for him leaving creases in the blankets, hairs in the doors, and what ever else he has been doing to spy on me, I might have believed him.

I cannot "work" in a place where the people do not trust me. I work fine in hostile environments. He's yelled at me every day about something, even for things that I didn't do. I'm fine with that. That can be worked out. But when he's trying to convince me that he trusts me and doing everything possible behind the scenes to prove otherwise... I cannot trust him. He's told me about how he's fired housesitters for lieing to him and here he is lieing to me. If he can't take my word for it, then I can't work there any more.

Can I get him to trust me or should I just quit? (I know I'm going to have to talk to the maid since she has not confronted me about any of this. But she's not the one threatening to fire me. I guess what really ticks me off is what goes on behind my back before anyone has the courtesy to notify me that I've done something wrong.

Right now I am thinking of quitting with only "irreconcilable differences between myself and staff" going into my letter to the owners. Though I may add in my inability to sleep to tone down the other bit. I really like the owners and don't want to upset their household.

(Anyways, I've put in four job applications in the last two days and my standards have changed to include slightly larger companys and retail sales... so I'm bound to get a day job soon.)

I know it sucks when your "employer" is so two-faced, but honestly, even if you don't sleep in the bed, just get under the covers and roll around a bit in the bed, like you were sleeping. It really doesn't matter that they think you dodn't stay the night or not. If you're there, doing your job, then there's nothing for you to worry about. People get the strangest notions that you HAVE to sleep in a bed, or some other such nonsense, like they aren't people or something, and they can't understand if someone prefers to sleep on the floor.

in other words - Screw 'em. You don't need an employers' trust to do your job, even if it is sleeping.

So I should keep doing my job and cash my checks, but otherwise ignore them until I get fired? (Probably for something that I didn't do. :/)

I don't know... I have a hard time dealing with someone who doesn't trust me on a daily basis. Call me old fashioned, but I find it a big insult when someone brings my character into question like that. It becomes personal. This is how personally I have taken it... I feel like I have been accused of: dereliction of my duties, fraud, theft, and lieing. In other words, I am taking this as if he had called me a despicable person. Maybe I'm being over dramatic?

I don't know... I don't mind being called names, teasing, and tormenting... but I can't take my character being called into question. Meh.... I guess I can only think of it this way: my character is merely part of an artificial construction (that also contains language, social structure, rules, laws, etc...) and really means nothing. Its just part of my imagination.

Society is just a figment of our collective imaginations. <-- will that work as a quote of the week?

I still think I should quit because I don't have to deal with these people, so why should I?

IMO (since that what you're asking for, right?) the other side of the coin of trust is honesty. If you want someone to trust you, you have to be honest with them.

I think you should tell them that I've been sleeping on the floor. When they ask why, you can say you are funny that way, and just like it better. They can't argue with a subjective evaluation.

Personally, I'd probably go a little farther, and tell them that you find it difficult to work with someone who says they trust you and then obviously acts like they don't, and be prepared to list instances. You don't need to get mad, you do it in a friendly and aboveboard manner. You do need to be very sympathetic and understanding of the other's position in all of this, though. If they feel like they need to check up on you, work out an agreeable way to do it, like a prearranged phone call, or something.

Yeah. Try to work out what you want to say well ahead of time. And try to keep any anger or disgust from coming into your voice. Working things out way ahead of time allows you to rehearse what you want to say, and it sounds better.

But definitely go the honesty route. And don't worry about tempering what you say with something that is total BS. If the owners have any respect for you, they'll be cool with your honesty. Try to use appropriate wording though; things that get your thoughts, feelings, and ideas across while being totally honest is the best way. Something like, "Man, it sucks <insert crude-sounding body part here> that your staff keeps telling me they trust me, then they do things to test me and their supposed trust of me." That just doesn't come across in a professional manner. And unless you are good friends with the owners, I'd stay on the professional side (though don't be emotionless).

Well, I left on friendly terms. (With the owners and groundskeeper, but not the maid.) I had all of my arguments planned to everything I though he would have said. Well, he said he was sorry, but the maid had been hounding him for over an hour each day about how she thought I wasn't there. And then he goes on to say that the house is worth $5M+ and the things inside are worth $20M+ and so he has to be very careful when picking the ehousesitter. Then he starts suggesting some games I can play to convince the maid I was there each night. (Like use some of the dishes, mess up the throw pillows, and basically leave some other messes around the house.)

To make a long story short... I chickened out of making a scene and simply told him that it wasn't working out. I told him that I wasn't sleeping well and that I was trying to get a day job and a night job and I would need to sleep better to have enough energy. I almost added in that I didn't feel trusted and that I felt insulted by their accusations... but by that time he was offering to help me find a job. I have a hard time staying angry and am not sure if I've ever held a grudge longer than 20 minutes. So I let it go at that and left.

As for the honesty route... that was my only option. I have a really nasty conscience that wont let me live with lies. I used to be really good at it, but as I got older it started to bother me every time I lied. I still have that nasy habbit of using the truth to decieve sometimes... but that's getting harder too. I try hard to be a good person... I fail often... but I try.

Thanks for the advice.
At least now I don't have the stress of being responsible for $25,000,000 worth of stuff every night.
(Though I might miss being able to watch the sun rise over their 2 acre lake and then light up their Itailian style villa and finally light up the house.)