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An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and grapefruit trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep
end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he
said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Old men can still think fast.

ROFL!

I'll have to remember that kind of thing when I'm old.

Since the bridge crossing the creek in my Grandpa's front yard was closed, he has been maintaining a path through it. It has been there for years to get the farming equipment through. A couple of months ago a teenager went hot dogging through the area and saw the creek, ignoring the signs. This kid sees that the water is up and thinks he can gun it down the hill and slide across the waters surface. It was guessed the kid hit 70mph as he hit the water and went under.

The first thing the kid said when he got out was that his father was going to kill him. The next thing he did was jump back in to get his CD's that were floating down the creek. The kid asked my grandpa if he could get it out and my Grandpa said "I have something. But it will cost you several hundred dollors for trustpassing on my land, then another couple hundred for my service to pull you out, another couple of hundred to get that junk off my land, and if your cellphone, too, was in that car I will also be charging you to call for a wrecker." The kid went across the street and paid more for a wrecker to pull his car out and take it away.