I'm goin' through the big D and Don't mean Dallas...

Spinning Hat · Post by **Spinning Hat** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:46 pm

That's right, Jackie asked me for a divorce on Sunday. I'm working on finding a new place to stay, and don't know how much I'll get online for a while. There was no real warning, and she's got a new boyfriend... Man this is hard.

XMEN Iceman · Post by **XMEN Iceman** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:53 pm

Crap....I am so sorry man. So much for "death do us part" and commitment. They find is soooo easy to throw everything away. If you will trust me on one thing...God will get you through it. And you will be much happier knowing that apparently she is not trustworthy enough for you. You deserve better, we deserve better treatment.

I am here for you man. I am now volunteering for Divorcecare classes at my church and I help with our Christian Singles group. Do yourself a HUGE favor and go to www.divorcecare.com and find the local class near you. The will help you get through the anger and other issues that will come up. Financial planning, etc. Also, get a lawyer, trust me, you need someone in your court. Especially someone who is thinking clearly, I know I still harbor some anger that I am trying to deal with. DO NOT agree to anything with her without discussing it with an attorney. You will save yourself thousands in the future if you get good advice.

Call me if you need me. It DOES get better.

Post by **XMEN Gambit** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:00 pm

Aaagh!

I'd have thought things would be getting easier with you finishing up school, too. We're here, we'll listen, and anything else you need. I'd listen to Ice for advice, though.

Gryphon · Post by **Gryphon** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 5:18 pm

Wow, that came out of nowhere

Sorry to hear that SH.

I hear a lot that you should get a lawyer, scrape, borrow, sell kidneys, you will be better off in the long run even if you can't really afford it now. That advise makes a lot of sense to me when I think about it, you should really look into it.

Spinning Hat · Post by **Spinning Hat** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:10 am

Thanks guys. The last year and a half has been one big emotional rollercoaster for both of us, and when things were good, they were great. When they were bad, it felt like hell. I talked with her last night about what our plans were, and how we wanted to go about it, and we've agreed on everything so far, and it's hard. When I see her I want to cry, knowing it's over, but really, I've come to accept it, more for the fact that as I look at the past year or so, I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner. On Sunday I went through the whole range of emtions on Sunday, and yesterday was a good day for the most part as well. Work was a welcome distraction, and there's a lot of it working at a major hub airport. Today was tougher to concentrate at work, but it'll get better.

It's funny - I thought I'd have more anger and bitterness and grief if this ever happened, but I guess I don't necessarily feel much of it anymore, and I thought I'd have more things to say, more mean hurtful things about Jackie, or about the situation, but I really can't say that I do. Maybe I've been a little desensitized by divorce watching all my friends going through it this year.... And I thought 20005 was gonna be the best year ever.

XMEN_Hammer · Post by **XMEN_Hammer** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 5:00 pm

It comes in waves

Sorry to hear SH , wll be praying for you. Keep your chin up I say, easier than tripping every few steps..

XMEN Ashaman DTM · Post by **XMEN Ashaman DTM** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:33 pm

Wow!

SH, I'm sorry man. Everyone that I've seen go through a divorce has come out for the better though. You gotta remember to just let it go. (I know it sucks to think of it that way, too.)

Hang in there, and try to keep things in focus during any settlement stuff. Be brave, my friend.

Spinning Hat · Post by **Spinning Hat** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:00 pm

Thanks guys. Our State Government is shutdown, but the county courthouse is still open, so we're going together to file tomorrow, and get this thing over with. I've been OK for the most part, but there are moments where I lose my concentration, and I get lost in what I'm doing... But I'll get through it.

XMEN Iceman · Post by **XMEN Iceman** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 3:08 pm

There will be times where you zone out completely. The grief and other emotions will come with time. You will experience a lot of pain at times. I found the best thing to keep me focused was to make a list of things that I needed to do in order to keep me on track. This included housing, budget, insurance changes, etc. The more organized you become the less you have to worry about it.

I sincerely want you to join a Divorcecare group. I made some good friends and they helped me through the worst of it.

Hang in there bud.

XMENPorsche · Post by **XMENPorsche** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 11:34 pm

Just saw this one. I cannot tell you how much this saddens me; I absolutely hate divorce because I've seen what it does to people. Listen to David. He's had a rough time but he made some good decisions along the way to help him cope. The best decision he made was in trusting in God to see him through.

Let us know if there's anything we can do.

ITIMAN · Post by **ITIMAN** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:26 am

OH MAN, I am so sorry SH.

I will pray for you and your family....I hate to see good folks go through this.
ITIMAN

Ambush Bug · Post by **Ambush Bug** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 5:04 pm

Ack! Ack! AAACK!

...sorry, still boggling here!

ATF Ravok · Post by **ATF Ravok** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:43 pm

Dang bro, that totally sucks!

I know its been hard the last few years - but I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel for you all.

Like Ice and everybody has already said, it's gonna be rough. For me, I just can't bring myself into a marriage these days. What's the point of it? Have a few laughs, maybe have a kid or two, and then split up? I just don't have the resources for that sort of thing.

I don't know how anybody does it these days...

You are in my prayers, man.