Our corporate catch-and-release program
Butt-harvesting the cube farm
Eternity leave
Transferring to the couch division
Down-shafting
Enlarging the Cult of Oprah
Helping stem the dangerously high employment rate
Increasing the ratio of Chiefs to Indians
Preventing Carpal Tunnel
Corporate liposuction
Reallocating senior management's bonus resources
Returning yuppies to the wild
