I have had enough!

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

My wife and I are getting very serious about moving back up to the Northwest. Long story short: I've been overtasked at work for a long time, and my supervisor is always traveling, and I dropped the proverbial balls yesterday.

Apparently I have been performing less and less for the last couple of months now, and I basically got yelled at for it. Granted, I needed it I think, but I realized that it's a serious lack of leadership ability that's helped me into this... in other words, I'm not the only factor. It's one of those things where apparently someone has been keeping tabs on me and what I am doing, and pulled it out when something was delayed. I basically have enough work for three or four people, and this last week was bad. I didn't get very far with anything.

The lack of leadership thing comes in because apparently this person decided to keep tabs on me, and NOT tell me when I was screwing up. It's like they were making all of these notes, and not informing me that I wasn't performing up to their standards. I have no problem that they called me on taking on too much stuff and not getting things done. I do have a problem with the fact that this person didn't bring this up a while back, and my supervisor has been out of town for a long time.

I am one of those people that recognize that I have problems, but I don't always know what they are. I still haven't figured out how to look at myself from someone else's point of view, so I have no clue when I am messing up.

I'm irritated that this kind of thing happens quite a bit where I work.


So, I sat down with my wife last night and she told me that I have been stressed out for a couple of months now. She told me, and I agree with her, that it's a sign that it's time to expand the job search quite a bit. So last night, I basically spent an hour doing just that, and then applying for a bunch of jobs. Who knows? I might be working for Boeing next year, or I might be working for NOAA or the NTSB. At this point, I don't really care.


Though the one thing that bothers me is that if I leave, and there is a problem with me, I won't know exactly what it is.

Hmm....

[Spinning Hat]

It's always very disappointing when people around you in leadership positions play games like that. And stress on the job leads to a lot more stress at home, and that's never a good thing. (And vice versa) Sounds like it's time for you to really make a move and get on with your career. Granted, if there was actually good leadership on the program, you could have a pretty good career right there, but as I tell my family in Phoenix: "The sun's boiled the brain right outta your head." And, in this case it sounds like that's what's happening. So get out of the desert before your brain boils dry, and you lose all common sense.

[BlackRider]

While you're looking over your job offers, just keep in mind that there's ALWAYS someplace worse. I've gone from a bad to a worse job before. Just because I was too eager to get away from the bad one.