Way out in West Texas...

Come in! Have a margarita or root beer? How about some fresh trout? :)

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XMEN Iceman
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Way out in West Texas...

Post by XMEN Iceman »

<!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="color:yellow;font-family:comic sans ms;font-size:medium;">A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.<br><br> The driver, a young man in a YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bvlgari sunglasses and an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"<br><br> The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"<br><br> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.<br><br> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex equations. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.<br><br> Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."<br><br><br> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.<br><br> Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"<br> <br>"You're a consultant to the Kerry campaign" says the cowboy.<br><br>"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"<br><br><br>"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business.….Now, give me back my dog!</span><!--EZCODE FONT END--><br><br><!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :lol --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/laugh.gif ALT=":lol"><!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <p><table border=0><tr><td><embed align=left src=http://www.thzclan.com/avatars/ezice.swf menu=false quality=high bgcolor=#000000 width=217 height=166 type=application/x-shockwave-flash pluginspage=http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/dow ... <td><table border=0 style='Filter: Shadow(Color=#BB1403,Direction=255)'><tr><td><span class='usertitle'>XMEN Iceman [DTM]<br>Founder and Leader of the Base Tribes XMEN Clan<br>Proud member of the Dragon Talon Mercenaries teamplayers Guild<br>Citizen of New Fenecia<br><br>You weren't much of a challenge - T2 bot after killing Iceman<br><br>- click on avatar for links - no, not sausage links!</span></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></p><i></i>
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Spinning Hat
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Re: Way out in West Texas...

Post by Spinning Hat »

:P <p><!--EZCODE HR START--><hr /><!--EZCODE HR END--><!--EZCODE CENTER START--><div style="text-align:center"><br><!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="color:red;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"><!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>"Never, Never, Never Quit"</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--> -Winston Churchill</span><!--EZCODE FONT END--></div><!--EZCODE CENTER END--></p><i></i>
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"Never, Never, Never quit." - Winston Churchill
"Men don't like to cuddle. They only cuddle if it leads to.. You know.. Lower cuddling." - Ray Romano
"Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck." - Ricky, age 10
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